Helpless

I have a little something that I hope you’ll like. Enjoy 😘

The loud silence I’ve filled my head with
A fruitless bid to escape these pathetic feelings
Of loneliness and dread
For they can unhinge me

All I hear is the racing of my heart
I try hard to withstand the touches and the looks of pity
The embraces only make me feel awful
My life spared at the expense of others
Reason unknown and gesture unappreciated

I stay here hiding from the future
The very epitome of cowardice that I am
Wallowing in my travails
There’s only so many tears I can cry before I learn I can’t be rid of my sorrows
Only so many times I can try before I accept defeat

Once I thought I could bear my cross
So much self-deception
Now I know the truth will do me more good
After all what more harm can be done to me
Surely none I haven’t already inflicted on myself
All in an effort to end this ‘living’

Long ago I lost any desire to sleep
Day and night became the same to me
As the remembrance of the evil day darkens the sunlight and overshadows the moon

I’ll just stay here now
Back to the wall and hind to the floor
Arms around my raised legs
As I wait to be eased of this load of woes
By anyone who’d care to try
At the risk of sharing my nightmares
I’m drowning in the flood of these memories haunting me
And I’ve lost every reason to swim to shore
Is salvation in close proximity?